Just Visiting

I had a bad attitude toward Spain. I loved Europe and had been there several times, but it had never occurred to me to consider a vacation in Spain. I had no interest.
But in 1994, when I was 42, I found myself in Madrid, trying to shepherd my two daughters through the city by myself. Julie, age nine, was at a stage where she wasn’t interested in complying with my wishes, and besides that she was tired and cranky from jet lag. So when we set out on the streets of the city she insisted on walking ten yards ahead of Lisa, age six, and me. Since we were in an unfamiliar place and didn’t know the language, this seemed dangerous to me, not to mention unnecessary.
“Julie,” I said sternly, “I need you to stay by me.” She shot me a sullen look and lumbered back to where I was, and we resumed walking. Then she went out ahead again. This went on a couple more times, till I sat us all down on a bench. “Look,” I said, “I’ve never been here before. I don’t speak Spanish. I don’t get the way the traffic works here, and I know they drive fast. I can’t let you get lost. You have to stay with me.” We started off, but again Julie walked on ahead. I felt my blood rising. I was furious; I was close to tears. She was intractable.
“That’s it,” I said. “We’re going back to the apartment.” We turned around and retraced our steps.
When we got back inside, I got the kids to sit down. I tried to calm myself by breathing slowly. “I’ve got to have you walk with me,” I said. “I don’t know my way around. I don’t know any Spanish. We could be separated in the crowd, and I’d have no way to find you again. If you can’t find a way to walk with me, we will have to sit in this apartment all week. Is that what you want?” There was a pause. “No,” Julie said at last. We headed out again, and this time she grudgingly walked with Lisa and me. After we’d gone a couple blocks I paused and whispered, “Would you like to hold the subway tickets for us?” “Okay,” she said, lightening up a bit. She put the little tickets in her breast pocket, and I started to relax.